Originally published on: Jun 20, 2012 @ 13:59
Last week I talked about where I was, so this week I want to focus more on where I want to be and, the big one, why.
At some point I realized that I had to Want a change. Really want it. No more shoulds, only desire. Because desire is the root of habit building, not obligation.
It had to make sense to me so I couldn’t defeat myself with circular logic — why bother when it will just be a mess again. Really, establishing 4 new huge habits – each one being multi-faceted, is a large change. A lifestyle change. It’s not like I can just wake up and all of a sudden *poof* love cleaning.
There’s all these ideas of duty and honor. It’s good for you. It shows your family how you love them. It’s good for your health. Quality of Life.
All True. But that’s not good enough.
The fact was I didn’t really want to change for the longest time. Which I hate to admit.
It’s not that I didn’t want good food and a clean home and my debt from college paid off.
It’s more that I wanted to paint murals, knit all night, play cello, go on walks with Bob (our dog), and spend time with Jason.
There’s so many good things in life and while cleaning is important, I just hadn’t considered it one of those “good things.”
And while I still don’t enjoy cleaning all that much, there’s been a shift in my attitude that the end results of my efforts are those good things.
- Because I like the house clean MORE than messy.
- And I like Home-cooked meals MORE than eating out (though that’s a nice change of pace).
- And I like being debt free MORE than throwing money in the toilet on interest each month.
- And I like being fit MORE than not.
I want to create an inviting space where family and friends feel welcome and cozy. I want to host airBNB guests without having to dash around cleaning like a crazed person.
Finally I have the desire. I’ve grabbed hold of it. And it’s carrying me forward.
But it’s hard not to get overwhelmed. It’s taken me years of collecting and putting off to get to where I am, it’s not going to take a week to fix it. Or even a month. I’d say it will take me a year to really get on track.
Today I read this really inspiring post on the Simple Dollar on What You Give Up For Change.
And that leads me to my final point for today. When I started crafting, it took soaking up resources and other people’s work for a long time before I actually got into it. I wanted to share with you some of my favorite resources that have helped moved me from a state of feeling Obligated to a state of Desire.
For Financial Responsibility and Frugal Living
For Cleaning House
- The Fly Lady – just trust me, follow her advice for a week, try it, and you’ll be better for it – mind and home.
- Design Sponge – nothing like looking at beautiful interiors to crave it for yourself.
- Zen Habits
For Eating Well
Best of wishes!
Kristin M Roach
ps – Next week I wanted to start talking about specifics. Would you like me to start with cooking, cleaning, finances, or health first?
Getting the desire and keeping a hold of the desire is so important. I tend to go in waves…but I keep working toward the goals…we have similar goals–fitness/nutrition; frugal living; creativity. I’m working hard on fitness/nutrition right now. I keep telling myself that nutrition and fitness are actually part of frugal living because health is more financially sustainable than preventable, prolonged illness. :/
That’s one of the reasons I’ve included fitness/nutrition into it. Jason and I have catastrophic insurance – the shit hits the fan and we end up in the emergancy room kind — so the day to day care is on us. Staying in shape and active is huge because we both have sedentary jobs.
But for me, that wasn’t enough. Being a healthy weight wasn’t enough. It took setting my sights on a Triathlon that really did it. Whether it’s a 5k or smoothly running an airBNB listing, I find I need goals to push me through the daily routines of a goal. Which means I had to give up extra crafting time (about an hour+ a day) to go workout and another hour of tv watching to spend it cleaning. It’s taken me a year to it down (training daily), I’m still working on the cleaning thing for sure.
I recently discovered Once a Month Mom, which is full of freeze ahead recipes, including ones for vegetarians, whole foods and gluten free. I haven’t done a whole month’s cooking on one day yet, but even just having 2-3 meals in the freezer can make it easier to decide to eat in rather than eat out after a hard day, saving money AND eating healthier.
me too. Hence the untidy house and the huge belly :o)